Insert Bad Chemistry Joke Here

This fella's jokes aren't new (some I've read on t-shirts at ACS meetings), but his delivery--a rather special combination of British wryness and geeky but wonderful awkwardness--made it worth sharing. That said, I'm interested to hear if anyone has ever heard a chemistry joke that was actually, well, good. Give us your best shot in the comments...

Author: Lisa Jarvis

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  1. The chirping crickets in the peanut gallery makes me think that perhaps there are no good chemistry jokes…

  2. This young man’s comments were difficult to understand because of the British accent. As far as a chemistry joke is concerned: How about Copper nitrate – overtime pay for policemen?

  3. “Ok, so the chemist puts the chicken on the table and says, ‘All right, POTASSIUM chloride!'”

    Can’t remember where I saw this.

  4. When I was working for Sun Oil Company in Marcus Hook, PA, the technical library had a book entitled, “Humor Among Chemists”, by Alex Mills. It was a collection of jokes and diagrams, such as the “Ferrous Wheel”.

  5. A teacher asked a question to his student. How is sulphuric acid produced.

    The guy starts answering .

    First sulpher is oxidised to sulphur dioxide.
    Then sulphur dioxide gets oxidised to sulphur trioxide.

    ””””” The gets confused, what next ?

    After a gap of a few minutes he replies.

    Why to tell more and waste everybody’s time….. Finally sulphuric acid was formed

  6. as a pickup line “Your underwear is a good leaving group.”

  7. This is one I made up myself (its actually more of a pun):

    Q: What happens when a lab frog croaks?
    A: U Barium!