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Amusing News Aliquots

Ants maximize their time on the smooth felt (white) and minimize their time on the rough felt (green) to reach their destination in the faster, albeit indirectly. Credit: Simon Tragust/NBC News

Ants maximize their time on the smooth felt (white) and minimize their time on the rough felt (green) to reach their destination in the fastest, albeit indirect, way. Credit: Simon Tragust/NBC News

Silly samplings from this week’s science news, compiled by Bethany Halford, Jeff Huber, and Sophia Cai.

Wonder how ants descend mere minutes into a picnic? Ants optimize routes for speed, a la Fermat’s principle of least time. [NBC News]

Ladies, looking for a fertile fella? Seems men who sport kilts “have significantly better rates of sperm quality and higher fertility.” From the Scottish Medical Journal, of course. [Improbable Research]

Researchers believe frog feet could be used to aid intestinal health.  Connoisseurs of French food say, “We’re way ahead of you.” [ScienceDaily]

Forget anxiety meds, Tylenol shown to help dampen fears of existential uncertainty or death. [Gizmodo]

Not that we would try it, but there’s some interesting chemistry behind the marijuana-infused spirit known as the Green Dragon. [PopSci]

Feeling lazy and unmotivated? Blame your lazy and unmotivated parents … preferably via the Internet, so you don’t have to get off the couch. [Huffington Post]

Dogs who have been spayed or neutered live longer than those who haven’t. Canine community reconsiders its animosity toward Bob Barker. [e! Science News]

And you thought running columns was tedious. What about studying where people stand in an elevator? [NPR]

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